So here you are, a single mum and the bills for taking care of
your bundle of joy are higher than you ever imagined. You had a
different plan for your life.
You probably never intended to become a single mother but you did. You know the father of your child but for whatever reason, you are no longer together.
What can you do to provide better for your child? What is available for you legally? What does it take to get money from the baby daddy?
As you can imagine, most of these absentee parents were fathers. Biology is cruel when it comes to reproduction: the man has to have an orgasm, then the woman carries the pregnancy, her attractiveness deteriorates during the pregnancy-breast-feeding phase, and the guy can run whenever he pleases.
Years ago, a single mother lamented the humiliating process our court system had put her through when she sued her child’s father for financial support.
After Beijing, the law was highly punitive towards men in these situations but The Children’s Act means that now courts are only concerned about the child’s interests, not the parents’. Also with the new constitution, it is clear that both parents are to share responsibilities for a child.
“The judge will look at basic needs: food, shelter and clothing; then consider secondary needs like education, health care and a social life. Mothers cannot demand outlandish costs like high-end schools but the judge will look at the lifestyle a child is exposed to, what each parent can and has been providing, and go from there.”
It seems women fear being victimised for a second time. Raising a child alone is not the dream for a lot of us. Rather we fall in love with a guy and we are hurt and disappointed when he pulls a runner when we find out we are pregnant.Going to court, paying lawyer fees, making a public declaration that we have been abandoned and asking for support? It is a lot to ask.
“It is not uncommon to find a guy has been providing secretly for several children outside his marriage and his widow has to deal with these cases. The request for DNA makes it urgent because the family cannot bury their father or husband.
Once the woman has a DNA sample and the court knows that the man fathered her child, then the case proceeds and will be sorted out within about a year,”
Pursuit of Child Support Check List
According to Joe Amisi, a lawyer & partner at Wambasi & Company, this is what single mothers need to go to court.
1. Legal fees – Shop for a lawyer with a good track record. Ask for an estimated cost of the whole case and come up with a payment plan.
2. Duration – optimistically if you and the guy make every assigned court date, this matter can be resolved in six months. However, things happen so estimate a year.
3. Documentation of the child’s expenses – you are asking for child support, not spousal support. The judge will want to see how much you have been spending on the child so a lease, fees receipts, health care bills or insurance receipts, household expenses like food, clothing receipts, transport costs, entertainment and other things that you provide for your child. You will be asking for half or all of these costs to be covered.
4. Proof of what you earn and own.
5. Any proof you have of what a man owns – He may earn Sh50,000 a month in official salary, but have business interests or property that can further support your child. Ask for an order on a search for his earnings.
6. Ask for garnishment of wages – some lawyers forget to advise this but you can ask the court to treat this as a civil dispute over payment of a debt so that the child support allocation is directly garnished from the father’s wages, just like taxes. This means that he cannot default. Garnishment is usually used to collect on debts, but it can be used here as well, especially if the man has violated a previous court order to pay child support.
7. DNA test fees -The court usually asks that the cost be split between the two parties. You can ask for reimbursement if the test is positive.
DOCUMENTS REQUIRED
BIRTH CERTIFICATE/BIRTH NOTIFICATION
MEDICAL RECEIPTS
RENT RECEIPTS
SCHOOL FEES RECEIPT
COURT DOCUMENTS
Certificate of Urgency
Notice of Motion/Chamber Summons
Supporting Affidavit
Plaint
Commisioning Fee
Affidavit of service
You probably never intended to become a single mother but you did. You know the father of your child but for whatever reason, you are no longer together.
What can you do to provide better for your child? What is available for you legally? What does it take to get money from the baby daddy?
As you can imagine, most of these absentee parents were fathers. Biology is cruel when it comes to reproduction: the man has to have an orgasm, then the woman carries the pregnancy, her attractiveness deteriorates during the pregnancy-breast-feeding phase, and the guy can run whenever he pleases.
Years ago, a single mother lamented the humiliating process our court system had put her through when she sued her child’s father for financial support.
After Beijing, the law was highly punitive towards men in these situations but The Children’s Act means that now courts are only concerned about the child’s interests, not the parents’. Also with the new constitution, it is clear that both parents are to share responsibilities for a child.
“The judge will look at basic needs: food, shelter and clothing; then consider secondary needs like education, health care and a social life. Mothers cannot demand outlandish costs like high-end schools but the judge will look at the lifestyle a child is exposed to, what each parent can and has been providing, and go from there.”
It seems women fear being victimised for a second time. Raising a child alone is not the dream for a lot of us. Rather we fall in love with a guy and we are hurt and disappointed when he pulls a runner when we find out we are pregnant.Going to court, paying lawyer fees, making a public declaration that we have been abandoned and asking for support? It is a lot to ask.
“It is not uncommon to find a guy has been providing secretly for several children outside his marriage and his widow has to deal with these cases. The request for DNA makes it urgent because the family cannot bury their father or husband.
Once the woman has a DNA sample and the court knows that the man fathered her child, then the case proceeds and will be sorted out within about a year,”
Pursuit of Child Support Check List
According to Joe Amisi, a lawyer & partner at Wambasi & Company, this is what single mothers need to go to court.
1. Legal fees – Shop for a lawyer with a good track record. Ask for an estimated cost of the whole case and come up with a payment plan.
2. Duration – optimistically if you and the guy make every assigned court date, this matter can be resolved in six months. However, things happen so estimate a year.
3. Documentation of the child’s expenses – you are asking for child support, not spousal support. The judge will want to see how much you have been spending on the child so a lease, fees receipts, health care bills or insurance receipts, household expenses like food, clothing receipts, transport costs, entertainment and other things that you provide for your child. You will be asking for half or all of these costs to be covered.
4. Proof of what you earn and own.
5. Any proof you have of what a man owns – He may earn Sh50,000 a month in official salary, but have business interests or property that can further support your child. Ask for an order on a search for his earnings.
6. Ask for garnishment of wages – some lawyers forget to advise this but you can ask the court to treat this as a civil dispute over payment of a debt so that the child support allocation is directly garnished from the father’s wages, just like taxes. This means that he cannot default. Garnishment is usually used to collect on debts, but it can be used here as well, especially if the man has violated a previous court order to pay child support.
7. DNA test fees -The court usually asks that the cost be split between the two parties. You can ask for reimbursement if the test is positive.
DOCUMENTS REQUIRED
BIRTH CERTIFICATE/BIRTH NOTIFICATION
MEDICAL RECEIPTS
RENT RECEIPTS
SCHOOL FEES RECEIPT
COURT DOCUMENTS
Certificate of Urgency
Notice of Motion/Chamber Summons
Supporting Affidavit
Plaint
Commisioning Fee
Affidavit of service
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